No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize