What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
