I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
