Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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