Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
