I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize