I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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