I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
