Non-Jews are for practice
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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