ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
