bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
