He disabled his match.com account in front of me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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