Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
