i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
