so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
