Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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