trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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