Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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