Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
