I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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