my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
