last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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