how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
