im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
