we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
