They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The air was thick with penises
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
