got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
zippers are such a cool invention
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
