Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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