Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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