this beer tastes like vomit already
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
