The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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