She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Success! We fucked roommates!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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