Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
