I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
