i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
