Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
