i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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