You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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