I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
