he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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