you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
