Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
