Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
