I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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