he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
