Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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