Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
