Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Randomize
