Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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