Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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