he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize