before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize