Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
