She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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