I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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