I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
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