Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
