dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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