Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize