i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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