You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
