I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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