A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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