What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
