is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
