I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
