why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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